By Ida Greene

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Will I collapse, fall apart, die? 8. Will I be abandoned, rejected? 9. How do I know this for sure? 10. What do I know about my ability to handle or change the threatening consequences? 11. Am I worthless, bad? A. All of me? How much of me? Who says so? B. Where did I learn this? C. Am I collecting rubber bands? D. Do I really believe this? E. What evidence do I have to counter this? 12. Am I powerless, helpless if it happens? ANGER AS A SIGNAL Anger is a valuable signal, because it lets us know when something is wrong and needs to be corrected.

HOW TO RESPOND TO OTHERS’ ANGER Listen Actively: • Make eye contact. • Move to general area. • Let person vent. ” Do not take situation personally. Acknowledge the feelings of others 35 “I can see that you feel strongly about this. ” Maintain eye contact. “You are shouting. This is inappropriate behavior. ” Ten Steps to Control Your Anger: 1. Make a list of the things that make you mad, and memorize it. 2. Talk about your feelings, let people know when things bother you. 3. When you feel angry, do something with the energy.

9. Get permission to ask questions. 10. Find out what triggered the event, see if there are underlying feelings of fear, anxiety, humiliation, or frustration. 11. Help the person get control over the situation by asking questions, or offering solutions. EXERCISES TO IDENTIFY ANGER 1. Write your definition of anger, and say if anger is a good or bad feeling. 2. Describe your bodily reactions when you are angry ex. tightness of throat: a. What part of your body, muscle groups responds when you are angry?

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